...

I did not like playing DOOM: Eternal. Not at all.

WHERE EVEN IS MY SWORD? WHERE ARE WE? WHY IS THERE A GODDAMN CASTLE HERE?

I could have accepted the complete lack of an explanation of the events between Samuel throwing us back into hell and the start of Eternal, if it wasn't for the fact that Doomguy has a giant space castle now. Huh??? I can understand him fighting his way through hell portals as they opened on earth, but how did he get the castle??? The story files provided are very confusing and convoluted.

This perplexed me so much that I went and looked up answers, and turns out literally nobody knows. They never elaborated on that. Well, there's worse cliffhangers to end on. At least Doomguy plausibly could get out of hell on his own.

I would have preferred first-person cutscenes, the switching feels unnatural and de-immerses the player. I liked the show don't tell in Doom 2016, because it made the story feel naturally integrated while also rarely distracting from the gameplay.

What first struck me was how plastick-y it all looked. It's not that it's cartoony, so are the OG Doom games and 2016 to a degree, it's that the fast pace and hordes of enemies require the game to look simpler to make it easier to see where things are. It makes it all look glossy and cheap. That's the best word I have for it. Cheap. It looks cheap. There's no grit.

I know that there are render modes that change the look a bit, but it's not enough for me.

The backdrops look worse, (Where are the stunning landscapes without the obvious instances of fire.gif littered everywhere?) the artstyle is incoherent, the weapon pickup animations are so minimalistic, the items look horrible and the demons look like blobs. I get that more enemies in a level necesitates less detailed models and textures but why not let both be an option for people whose PC can run it? Despite the gore being more fleshed out here (haha) with the individual bits falling off bones, the enemies look less gory and interesting. Also small things like the audio when killing demons feels less visceral. Also, I get that there's lots of rubble to account for when making levels on earth, but I really hate getting stuck on things all the time.

I wouldn't be surprised if my apprehension is related to my autism. I often end up disliking sequels that aren't as direct of a continuation as I expected. Sometimes my critiques end up being valid, but often I'm just being pedantic.

In this case it's not just a dislike of change that made me feel like this. (though that is a part of it certainly) I also just sense that the playstyle is incompatible with how I play. When I decided to treat Doom: Eternal as its own thing, instead of a continuation of Doom 2016, I came to realize that this game just isn't my thing at all.

The platforming involves crawling and dashing from specific spots I seem to be immune to spotting, especially in combat, and the bars you swing on have a confusing hitbox.

I must have been naive when reading about the gun switching. I didn't think it would mean that I have to shoot extremely specific shots on an enemy.

Not to mention that I have to juggle a bajillion new mechanics. I run out of ammo all of the time because I am expected to chainsaw enemies all the time. I need to use a flamethrower now?? And what even is a blood punch? Whenever I got a tutorial (every other minute it seemed) it felt like reading cryptic homework.

Why is the chainsaw on a cooldown instead of a separate weapon with its own ammo? I think the chainsaw is fun when it's a rare treat to get a fountain of ammo, not when you have to use it all the time. It's hard to keep track of it all. I get overwhelmed when too many things are happening at once, and the game quickly felt like a chore. My reaction speed tanks when that happens.

DOOM (2016)'s lack of reloading helped me a lot, because looking at lots of small overlays and pressing many different buttons is what has kept me away from the FPS genre. I like how everything stays static until I actively walk into a powerup, ammo, healing or get attacked. Too many automatic processes simply overwhelm me because if I am not responsible for them or easily able to see what caused it, I won't notice until it is way too late.

I get why people like this game. I'm sure that DOOM: Eternal is a great game if you love very fast games, find it fun to learn how to juggle many mechanics, you manage to find a button layout that doesn't require you to be an octopus to use it, and are willing to maintain your skills on a regular basis.

I really tried to meet the game where it is at, but this is just not the game for me.

I know that it's unlikely that I will have the capacity to properly train myself into playing it. I'd rather rebuy it later if I somehow REALLY want to play it. It's not like I can just put it down for a while, because your right to refund expires two weeks after buying the game

So I refunded it.

DOOM: The Dark Ages is (from what I can hear) closer to the classic approach 2016 uses, so whenever that game goes on sale for a reasonable price, I'll give it a try.

Otherwise, there's always Doom 1 and 2, and obviously my now-beloved DOOM (2016).

I'll keep having fun in DOOM (2016) for the time being.